writing

Bury the “I Can’ts”

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I recently turned to a copy of the classic Chicken Soup for the Soul gotten at a used book sale, for my daily devotions. I recently finished Watching for the Morning which I enjoyed, but I needed something new to start on. Well, it’s not new but new to me since I never read it. I decided to browse through and pick a category rather than just go through it cover to cover.

I landed on Chapter 5: Live Your Dream and this was one of the first few entries, Rest In Peace: The I Can’t Funeral which tells the story of a teacher doing an exercise with her students, from the perspective of an administrator type observing the class. I guess this was pretty innovative in 1980 when the book was written, and still a good lesson, and maybe I’ll actually do the exercise. You make a list of I can’t statements, and then put them in a box and bury them. If you have a safe way to do so, burning the list could be even more satisfying, like in a fire place or fire pit if you have one.

In any case, I was not taught to eliminate I can’t thinking or verbalization when I was a kid, but I think I always had a natural aversion to negative or discouraging thinking. I will be honest in admitting it did get through more often than I would have liked, but I always bounced back quickly when I experienced setbacks or discouragement. Bad things do happen in life, so it’s not about whitewashing. We have to be realistic in facing obstacles and disadvantages before we can rephrase them. Like the kids and teacher in the class. They wrote the I can’t statements. They didn’t just pretend they weren’t there. But then they symbolically buried them and, more importantly, changed their mentality and made an ongoing effort to avoid I can’t statements or attitudes.

The teacher made a paper tombstone with I Can’t on it as a reminder for herself and the students of what they were trying to change and it was always present in the classroom providing a sort of accountablity. The teacher and other students could remind each other of the RIP poster if they forgot and made an I can’t statement.

That’s an important point. We all need accountability and encouragement from others to make positive changes in our lives. We have to make the effort of course, but as the saying goes, “No [one] is an island.” We all need good energy and reinforcement.

Burying I Can’t thinking is only half the battle, though. You need to replace it with a healthier outlook of possibility and determination. The I Can statements. It’s always easier to leave a bad habit behind when you have a good one to take its place Visualization helps like the RIP poster in the classroom. If finishing a big home improvement project is the thing you are trying to say you can instead of you can’t then find a picture of a similar project that’s complete and put it on the wall, or just picture what you want it to look like in your head and keep recalling it.

If writing that novel is the thing you felt like you can’t do, then do a mockup of the cover and put it on your desktop or print it and put it on your mirror where you’ll see it every morning. It’ll make you want to work on it. Have a writer friend act as an accountability partner. Give yourself deadlines for the next chapter or figuring out the ending or whatever. Part of changing your thinking from no can do to it’s happening is breaking it down to manageable bites and making progress to spur you on.

If anyone around you is a naysayer whispering doubt in your ear, ditch them fast! Surround yourself with encouragers and allies. Invite people in who care about you and your goals and dreams. Those are the folks you need in your life. So, once you have the I Can attitude locked in, do everything you can to bring about the result you want and stick with people who are on your side.

Go and do!

All content is original and owned by Mark T. Ritchey and cannot be used without permission.

Better to fail than never try

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I watched an Olympic hopeful on Friday night, along with millions of others. Ilia Malinin took to the ice in men’s figure skating with sky high expectations from all sides. Himself, his father and coach, millions of his countrymen and women, fellow athletes and lots of media hyping and analyzing the hell out of his every move. As I watched, his first small jump seemed to land very smoothly but the next couple of them looked a little bumpy and then the horror, he fell, twice.

I felt for him as I’ve often empathized with young athletes in the highly commercialized world we live in. So much pressure, so much scrutiny, so much at stake. It must get to them sometimes, but most of the time they get through with lots of support from friends, family and mentors. Sometimes things still go wrong, despite all the time put in and all the preparation. Fortunately, Ilia, like many of his competitors and fellow Olympians, is very young and will have another chance, God willing, to reach his potential.

The lesson here for us all is to go for the gold, knowing that you may not get it. You may just miss it, or you may miss by a wide margin. While I’m sure it’s devastating to fall short in such a public way, the important thing is to just do your best and keep trying. Learn from the experience and make improvements. That’s what we all have to do throughout our lives. Failing is not fatal. Your soul is built to handle setbacks in life. It’s worth the risk to go for something big.

I sit here on my couch writing these words and think about the fact that I haven’t really gone for anything big in my life so far. I haven’t written that novel or screenplay. I haven’t given up, but I have become complacent. I’ve stopped hearing the ticking clock. While it’s never too late until you’re gone, I’m not getting any younger.

Yoda says “Do or do not. There is no try.” I guess I’m just not doing. Of course, not every thing you do can be successful, but I think what our little green friend meant is that you approach the goal with the full intention of doing it, not with a wishy washy mentality that you’re just going to put out some feelers and see if maybe there’s a chance of things working out. You just have to do it. That doesn’t mean that you couldn’t still fail, but eventually, you’ll get there. Perhaps it’s a matter of doing it again, rather than trying again. Go for the gold with full intention and your best ability and you’ll succeed. Maybe that success looks different than the top of the podium sometimes, but other opportunities for something better may result from your efforts, whatever the immediate outcome.

Go forth and be active and believe in yourself! Good things will happen.

Late January check-in

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Well, we’re almost a month into the new year. I hope everyone is doing well with your resolutions and goals and renewal stuff. I ended up being sick the first week of the month and had a delayed return to work and everything else. I’m happy to report that I’ve continued my workouts that I’ve been doing for a year and three months now and my devotional time each day and my routines. I have to admit that getting sick right off the bat and being run down for a while after that put a damper on my goal to write more, but I’ve done a little journaling. And here I am back to the blog. I’d like to stake the claim that I’ve remained quite busy at a cellular level. 😉 It’s an oldie but a goodie as far as excuses go.

I’ve also taken my own advice and done a little minor redecorating and tweaking decor as the decorations came down over a couple of weekends. And I’m still working on that. Photos will follow. Speaking of photos, that’s one of the decor tweaks I’ve done. I’ve gathered quite a few photo frames over the years from my thrift shop trips and I’ve always been into photography, starting with my first camera, a trusty old Kodak disc camera. So, I’ve put out some of the many winter scene photos from the creek behind the house where I grew up and other seasonal shots. I also simply moved some things from an unnoticed corner or shelf to a more prominent place, creating a new look. You can do that when you have a lot of thrift shop knick knacks to work with.

Like much of the U.S., I spent yesterday digging out from a snowstorm. That left little time or energy for much else. I’d say that’s a good excuse for not writing. The important thing is to keep making the effort. So, back to normal today. I suppose one good thing about being sick at the start of the year is that I feel like the beginning of the second month is a chance to do a renew redo. It’s a chance to recapture the renewal feeling since I didn’t really get going the first time around. Wish me luck as mother nature unleashes the harshest winter in years. May all the writers and artists take advantage of time indoors this season!

On a lighter note, I hope the handlers on Feb. 2nd outfit Punxatawny Phil with a bullet proof vest because if he doesn’t give the answer people want this year, someone may take a shot at him. This is Pennsylvania, after all. Just kidding. But really, that’s not so bad, that we’re almost to Groundhog Day already. That’s one of the few Bill Murray movies I like. What would you do if you had to repeat one day over and over? Like Murray’s character, you could see it as a blessing or a curse. You’d have a lot of time to learn new things and make discoveries in the world around you, but that would be the most epically challenging situation to find ways to feel rejuvenated or renewed! Would you savor the extra time, or get bored out of your gourd? It’s an intriguing idea. I think we all kind of have that choice throughout our lives. It’s the essence of getting what you want out of life. It’s what you make it.

I think I may have to expound on this subject. Till then, keep writing and keep renewing!

P.S. Speaking of new things, the image above is AI generated and the first time I’ve ever used one.

2/11/26 A further thought on the Groundhog Day part: I think the worst part of repeating the same day would be not being able to say the best is yet to come. Will I achieve the best I can be? Realize my biggest dreams? Will any of us? We don’t know. But every new day is a chance to find out. A chance to strive for our best life. And if you feel you have seen the best days, that’s great that you had that! Now you can focus on encouraging, inspiring and guiding others to the best days.