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Rise Above

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When you’ve suffered a major attack on your life and reputation, you can stew in anger and obsess over it, wanting to get back at the attackers, or you can double down on just doing you. Channel the anger into determination to show everyone around you who you really are. To thine own self be true. As long as you hold fast to that, the enemy has no power. I’ve learned this from personal experience in the last seven years.

In this world, minding your own business and just trying to make a living and be a positive presence in the world does not mean that no one will attack you or try to bring you down. Some people just aren’t happy unless they’re making someone else unhappy. I’ve seen very cold-blooded sociopaths who thrive on that, even pretending to be your friend. I have been overwhelmed by anxiety and cried when I’ve been hurt. I’ve struggled with anger even though I’ve determined not to let things get to me. I focused on just living my life and finding contentment no matter what’s going on around me and not only succeeded at that but encouraged others to do so as well. So the tormentors doubled down, many times, and made it impossible to ignore their extreme bullying and provocations. But they have not been able to change who I am.

They never will. They can poison some people’s perception of me, but I’ll just move on and rebuild. Anyone opposing you only has the power you give them. I’ve realized that I relinquished some of that power for a while, but I’m taking it back. I have the strength God gave me and the strength of the Holy Spirit in me. They have nothing. They’re hollow shells, lacking soul or compassion or purpose. Bullies are weak cowards.

I was reading a story in a devotional book about a teacher recalling a special student and she described him as one of those people who is just happy to be alive. I realized that I have always been one of those people. My dad was too. I love life and all things good. I appreciate the little things and the beauty all around us. I love the complexity of the human spirit and the mystery of the divine. I love the comforts of fond memories and the excitement of the future, both here and beyond this realm.

I love the written word and unspoken truth. I love deep emotions and light fun. I love the starlit night sky and the bright warmth of the sun. And I know that not every moment or every situation is enjoyable, but the things we have to just endure only help us appreciate the good things more.

I know I’m not going to feel good all the time, and I can’t say I’m never going to get angry about things again, but I know I can handle anything life throws at me. I had many dreams reassuring me of that when I was young. One of my late uncles was a Jungian analyst and helped me interpret those dreams. It’s as if the unconscious world, the Universe, the Holy Spirit or all of the above knew I was in for something very trying in my life and built in that truth early on. Someone was telling me, you got this. And I do, and I seek support and allies. No one is an island. We all need other people. We’re all in this together.

So, let’s not hate or resent, or add to the negative energy in the world. There’s quite enough of that.

Let’s love life! Let’s rise above!

An Overdue Walk in the Park

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It’s been a few weeks, but I wanted to share some scenes and reflection from my return to an oft visited place, Monocacy Park. I hadn’t been there all summer due to many time and energy constraints as my family has been dealing with ongoing issues with my sister’s health, my elderly mother dealing with that and her own issues, and even some unexpected health issues of my own that have come up in the last couple months. I stopped for walks twice in one week, and maybe one other time, but now the busyness is encroaching again. I shall prevail, though. Making time for things you enjoy is a priority.

I’ve learned that you can only do so much for others and you have to take care of yourself. If a person doesn’t make much effort themselves to improve their own situation, you can’t make things happen for them. Certainly, you do what you can, but it’s up to them to meet you half way.

I’ve also been reminded of something I already knew. that our reactions to things are just as important, or even more important that the actual events happening. That’s the part we can control. Life happens and things keep rolling along. Time never stands still. So, you have to decide how you’re going to react and deal with things. I’m thankful that I have my dad’s steady, calm presence. (I’ve been told that- that I have a calming presence.) It was a theme in all the remarks at his funeral service that, while he was a quiet, unassuming person, he was always there. I’m still reminded when I think of him to keep striving to stay centered, and to get back to your center when life sends those curve balls.

So, do those things that help you process things and stay centered, or return to center, whether it’s taking a walk, making time to read, exercise, journaling or whatever. I hope these photos can help bring a moment of peace in your day.

Time always flies

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Seems like time always flies, not just when you’re having fun. I mean, sure, there’s the clock watching hours at work some days when you count the minutes until quitting time, but overall, it just seems that time marches relentlessly on and there’s always more to be done, things to see to, and less leisure time the older you get. Or is that just me? I was off work all week recuperating from surgery. The procedure was last Wednesday so I had part of last week off too. Of course, I was not able to do much the first several days but rest and sleep, which was nice, but I thought a week would feel like so much time and I’d do all this writing and sort old pictures and catch up with people but none of that happened. Of course, one whole day was spent tending to a medical issue stemming from the surgery and I have a follow up appointment today.

I do still have a few more days off next week and only partial days when I first go back to work so there’s a little more time. Maybe I was unrealistic in thinking recuperation time would be a time to accomplish anything. I suppose we all set ourselves up for disappointment at times with unrealistic expectations. I definitely did rest more and got more sleep than I have in ages and that’s important. So, maybe I should be satisfied with that. I wrote a long time in my journal yesterday and have enjoyed having a morning devotional time which I normally don’t have time for. (I do a shorter devotion time after work on weekdays. 5:30 is early enough to get up.)

I guess my Anglo Saxon Protestant upbringing has me putting less value on the R&R time I’ve had; watching TV, social media and reading are not wasting time. Rest is exactly what I was supposed to be doing. Of course, the issue I was having and a family matter going on at the exact same time made it feel less restful. I’m sure that’s a big part of it too.

My introvert side has enjoyed the time at home alone, just me and the cats. Quiet reflection can be restoring and more productive than one realizes sometimes.

Maybe this can be one of those times I wrote about at the beginning of the year, to use as a renewal point. The procedure fixed what it was supposed to so far. So that will be something I don’t have to deal with anymore. And I think it will feel good to get back to a normal routine when I do. And it’s time for Spring! The time changes this weekend here in PA and the colors of nature should be popping out all over soon. Spring is the biggest renewal of all! It’s God’s reminder of eternal life with Him and the unmovable foundation of good that always prevails over evil.

So, maybe the key here is to not focus so much on time as a measure of what’s done or not, but just enjoy the ride and float along the current of time rather than trying to swim against it.

May peace find you and stick with you. Till next time…

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