I recently turned to a copy of the classic Chicken Soup for the Soul gotten at a used book sale, for my daily devotions. I recently finished Watching for the Morning which I enjoyed, but I needed something new to start on. Well, it’s not new but new to me since I never read it. I decided to browse through and pick a category rather than just go through it cover to cover.

I landed on Chapter 5: Live Your Dream and this was one of the first few entries, Rest In Peace: The I Can’t Funeral which tells the story of a teacher doing an exercise with her students, from the perspective of an administrator type observing the class. I guess this was pretty innovative in 1980 when the book was written, and still a good lesson, and maybe I’ll actually do the exercise. You make a list of I can’t statements, and then put them in a box and bury them. If you have a safe way to do so, burning the list could be even more satisfying, like in a fire place or fire pit if you have one.

In any case, I was not taught to eliminate I can’t thinking or verbalization when I was a kid, but I think I always had a natural aversion to negative or discouraging thinking. I will be honest in admitting it did get through more often than I would have liked, but I always bounced back quickly when I experienced setbacks or discouragement. Bad things do happen in life, so it’s not about whitewashing. We have to be realistic in facing obstacles and disadvantages before we can rephrase them. Like the kids and teacher in the class. They wrote the I can’t statements. They didn’t just pretend they weren’t there. But then they symbolically buried them and, more importantly, changed their mentality and made an ongoing effort to avoid I can’t statements or attitudes.

The teacher made a paper tombstone with I Can’t on it as a reminder for herself and the students of what they were trying to change and it was always present in the classroom providing a sort of accountablity. The teacher and other students could remind each other of the RIP poster if they forgot and made an I can’t statement.

That’s an important point. We all need accountability and encouragement from others to make positive changes in our lives. We have to make the effort of course, but as the saying goes, “No [one] is an island.” We all need good energy and reinforcement.

Burying I Can’t thinking is only half the battle, though. You need to replace it with a healthier outlook of possibility and determination. The I Can statements. It’s always easier to leave a bad habit behind when you have a good one to take its place Visualization helps like the RIP poster in the classroom. If finishing a big home improvement project is the thing you are trying to say you can instead of you can’t then find a picture of a similar project that’s complete and put it on the wall, or just picture what you want it to look like in your head and keep recalling it.

If writing that novel is the thing you felt like you can’t do, then do a mockup of the cover and put it on your desktop or print it and put it on your mirror where you’ll see it every morning. It’ll make you want to work on it. Have a writer friend act as an accountability partner. Give yourself deadlines for the next chapter or figuring out the ending or whatever. Part of changing your thinking from no can do to it’s happening is breaking it down to manageable bites and making progress to spur you on.

If anyone around you is a naysayer whispering doubt in your ear, ditch them fast! Surround yourself with encouragers and allies. Invite people in who care about you and your goals and dreams. Those are the folks you need in your life. So, once you have the I Can attitude locked in, do everything you can to bring about the result you want and stick with people who are on your side.

Go and do!

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