Rise Above

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When you’ve suffered a major attack on your life and reputation, you can stew in anger and obsess over it, wanting to get back at the attackers, or you can double down on just doing you. Channel the anger into determination to show everyone around you who you really are. To thine own self be true. As long as you hold fast to that, the enemy has no power. I’ve learned this from personal experience in the last seven years.

In this world, minding your own business and just trying to make a living and be a positive presence in the world does not mean that no one will attack you or try to bring you down. Some people just aren’t happy unless they’re making someone else unhappy. I’ve seen very cold-blooded sociopaths who thrive on that, even pretending to be your friend. I have been overwhelmed by anxiety and cried when I’ve been hurt. I’ve struggled with anger even though I’ve determined not to let things get to me. I focused on just living my life and finding contentment no matter what’s going on around me and not only succeeded at that but encouraged others to do so as well. So the tormentors doubled down, many times, and made it impossible to ignore their extreme bullying and provocations. But they have not been able to change who I am.

They never will. They can poison some people’s perception of me, but I’ll just move on and rebuild. Anyone opposing you only has the power you give them. I’ve realized that I relinquished some of that power for a while, but I’m taking it back. I have the strength God gave me and the strength of the Holy Spirit in me. They have nothing. They’re hollow shells, lacking soul or compassion or purpose. Bullies are weak cowards.

I was reading a story in a devotional book about a teacher recalling a special student and she described him as one of those people who is just happy to be alive. I realized that I have always been one of those people. My dad was too. I love life and all things good. I appreciate the little things and the beauty all around us. I love the complexity of the human spirit and the mystery of the divine. I love the comforts of fond memories and the excitement of the future, both here and beyond this realm.

I love the written word and unspoken truth. I love deep emotions and light fun. I love the starlit night sky and the bright warmth of the sun. And I know that not every moment or every situation is enjoyable, but the things we have to just endure only help us appreciate the good things more.

I know I’m not going to feel good all the time, and I can’t say I’m never going to get angry about things again, but I know I can handle anything life throws at me. I had many dreams reassuring me of that when I was young. One of my late uncles was a Jungian analyst and helped me interpret those dreams. It’s as if the unconscious world, the Universe, the Holy Spirit or all of the above knew I was in for something very trying in my life and built in that truth early on. Someone was telling me, you got this. And I do, and I seek support and allies. No one is an island. We all need other people. We’re all in this together.

So, let’s not hate or resent, or add to the negative energy in the world. There’s quite enough of that.

Let’s love life! Let’s rise above!

An Overdue Walk in the Park

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It’s been a few weeks, but I wanted to share some scenes and reflection from my return to an oft visited place, Monocacy Park. I hadn’t been there all summer due to many time and energy constraints as my family has been dealing with ongoing issues with my sister’s health, my elderly mother dealing with that and her own issues, and even some unexpected health issues of my own that have come up in the last couple months. I stopped for walks twice in one week, and maybe one other time, but now the busyness is encroaching again. I shall prevail, though. Making time for things you enjoy is a priority.

I’ve learned that you can only do so much for others and you have to take care of yourself. If a person doesn’t make much effort themselves to improve their own situation, you can’t make things happen for them. Certainly, you do what you can, but it’s up to them to meet you half way.

I’ve also been reminded of something I already knew. that our reactions to things are just as important, or even more important that the actual events happening. That’s the part we can control. Life happens and things keep rolling along. Time never stands still. So, you have to decide how you’re going to react and deal with things. I’m thankful that I have my dad’s steady, calm presence. (I’ve been told that- that I have a calming presence.) It was a theme in all the remarks at his funeral service that, while he was a quiet, unassuming person, he was always there. I’m still reminded when I think of him to keep striving to stay centered, and to get back to your center when life sends those curve balls.

So, do those things that help you process things and stay centered, or return to center, whether it’s taking a walk, making time to read, exercise, journaling or whatever. I hope these photos can help bring a moment of peace in your day.

Bury the “I Can’ts”

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I recently turned to a copy of the classic Chicken Soup for the Soul gotten at a used book sale, for my daily devotions. I recently finished Watching for the Morning which I enjoyed, but I needed something new to start on. Well, it’s not new but new to me since I never read it. I decided to browse through and pick a category rather than just go through it cover to cover.

I landed on Chapter 5: Live Your Dream and this was one of the first few entries, Rest In Peace: The I Can’t Funeral which tells the story of a teacher doing an exercise with her students, from the perspective of an administrator type observing the class. I guess this was pretty innovative in 1980 when the book was written, and still a good lesson, and maybe I’ll actually do the exercise. You make a list of I can’t statements, and then put them in a box and bury them. If you have a safe way to do so, burning the list could be even more satisfying, like in a fire place or fire pit if you have one.

In any case, I was not taught to eliminate I can’t thinking or verbalization when I was a kid, but I think I always had a natural aversion to negative or discouraging thinking. I will be honest in admitting it did get through more often than I would have liked, but I always bounced back quickly when I experienced setbacks or discouragement. Bad things do happen in life, so it’s not about whitewashing. We have to be realistic in facing obstacles and disadvantages before we can rephrase them. Like the kids and teacher in the class. They wrote the I can’t statements. They didn’t just pretend they weren’t there. But then they symbolically buried them and, more importantly, changed their mentality and made an ongoing effort to avoid I can’t statements or attitudes.

The teacher made a paper tombstone with I Can’t on it as a reminder for herself and the students of what they were trying to change and it was always present in the classroom providing a sort of accountablity. The teacher and other students could remind each other of the RIP poster if they forgot and made an I can’t statement.

That’s an important point. We all need accountability and encouragement from others to make positive changes in our lives. We have to make the effort of course, but as the saying goes, “No [one] is an island.” We all need good energy and reinforcement.

Burying I Can’t thinking is only half the battle, though. You need to replace it with a healthier outlook of possibility and determination. The I Can statements. It’s always easier to leave a bad habit behind when you have a good one to take its place Visualization helps like the RIP poster in the classroom. If finishing a big home improvement project is the thing you are trying to say you can instead of you can’t then find a picture of a similar project that’s complete and put it on the wall, or just picture what you want it to look like in your head and keep recalling it.

If writing that novel is the thing you felt like you can’t do, then do a mockup of the cover and put it on your desktop or print it and put it on your mirror where you’ll see it every morning. It’ll make you want to work on it. Have a writer friend act as an accountability partner. Give yourself deadlines for the next chapter or figuring out the ending or whatever. Part of changing your thinking from no can do to it’s happening is breaking it down to manageable bites and making progress to spur you on.

If anyone around you is a naysayer whispering doubt in your ear, ditch them fast! Surround yourself with encouragers and allies. Invite people in who care about you and your goals and dreams. Those are the folks you need in your life. So, once you have the I Can attitude locked in, do everything you can to bring about the result you want and stick with people who are on your side.

Go and do!

All content is original and owned by Mark T. Ritchey and cannot be used without permission.