Lifelong target, Part 2

A few more school bullying incidents have come to mind recently that I feel like sharing now in hopes it helps bring awareness to gangstalking. One was at a second grade assembly where the three classes gathered in one room for a joint assembly as we sometimes did. They would move the desks out of the way and the additional students would sit on the floor in rows. I was settled down on one such occasion talking to my friend when someone did the tap on the shoulder, made you look childish game they did. I can picture how I turned to see which one of the kids in the row behind me had done it. Sometimes I could tell, but the more they did it, the harder it was to determine who the culprit was because the instigator would get more and more kids to participate, so that everyone in the row were all smirking or looking at someone else with the Not Me look or saying the clever, “What?”. I would give up after a few times of this, but they’d always start again a few minutes later or halfway through the assembly if they got bored. Of course, if I had just ignored them and never let them get a rise out of me, they would’ve given up, but I didn’t get that as a kid. I didn’t get the mentality of wanting to torment someone like that. I couldn’t fathom that my annoyance delighted them. I just didn’t think that way. I always wanted to affirm, encourage and include others. Of course, the taunting taps on the shoulder were only a momentary trouble, but the thing that hurt was to have a bunch of kids work together against me. It was the exclusion and disregard for me that was hurtful.

Another time, an older kid on the bus while we were waiting at the school for everyone to get there before the bus headed out, was smacking me on the back of the head right at the soft spot at the crown. He wasn’t trying to fool me about who was doing it. He was just openly bullying me. He was really smacking hard too, and I remember how I felt a little dizzy and kind of reeled a bit for a few seconds before I was even able to turn and say something to him. What struck me, besides his hand, (ha! see what I did there?) was that it seemed as though he was aiming for that particular spot on my head knowing it was a sensitive area and would have that effect. I didn’t think of it at the time, but years later, I thought that someone older had to have told him to try it. They taught him to hit that soft spot to get the desired effect.

Fast forward to tenth grade English class and you’ll see another scene of exclusion. This one didn’t involve any physical attacks, but it was also hurtful. The teacher was lazy and well aware that they couldn’t fire her because she was tenured. (Ironically her name was Firing.) She often just treated her class as a study hall because she hadn’t bothered to do a lesson plan. I often went and sat by my best friend on these do nothing days, but this particular day, I was very tired and not feeling very well physically, probably from my undiagnosed Crohn’s disease. I reviewed my notes for another class that I had a test for, but then I just sat for a while thinking about things. I guess that made it look like I didn’t know what to do with myself socially and the teacher and her pet thought that was pretty funny. I didn’t know they were laughing at me until a popular girl who sat by me in history and often copied my notes and I helped her get ready for tests, came over and told me that’s what they were laughing so hard about. They were making fun of me just because I was sitting there minding my own business. Well, you know what? I didn’t let it get to me. I mean sure it was hurtful at first, but I did go sit with my friend on the next impromptu teacher laziness study hall day. And a cheerleader thought I was cool enough to want to tell me what the mockers were up to. I always had popular people who talked to me. I was one of the top students in the class and I had my small circle of friends. Most people were mature enough to respect that.

The sad thing is that while the rest of us matured and grew in abilities and confidence in life, including some of the participants in the pestering kind of bullying, gangstalkers never grew out of their immature bullying. Unfortunately, their cruel games are not harmless. Instead of pretending not to be involved in pestering by tapping my shoulder from behind like the second graders, these loser sociopaths gang up on a person to disguise who’s turning on electrical field generators nearby and the exact source, so you can’t stop it or sue. And it causes cancer. That’s what electronic harassment is all about!

I rely on God to strengthen and protect me from these childish creeps. My motto for the last seven years now has been, I Will Prevail!

I will keep trying to be a positive influence in the world. I thank God for my writing and photography and many creative abilities.

We the good people, must keep fighting the good fight and encourage one another.

God be with you!

Tomorrow will be better

I saw a meme on Facebook with this writing prompt: Say tomorrow will be better without saying “Tomorrow will be better.”

I think I’ll try to do so poetically. Haven’t done a haiku in ages, so that first then a free verse.

I didn’t have a lot of time the other night, and as I look at this haiku now, I feel like it doesn’t flow well so I’m adding a minor edit.

Edited version:

Twilight’s glow fading,

Heart dissolving daily dross

My soul looks forward.

Original version:

Orange sky slowly dims.

The heart dissolves the mind’s stress.

The soul looks forward.

Hit the ground running before I was ready but I was able.

The Spirit went ahead of me and paved the way

So when the two of us met it was a peaceful teaming up

Made of resilience and hope, leading to joy.

It came late in the day, but there’s plenty more where that came from, God willing.

The moon and stars bring comfort’s sleep

And, restored, I will go onward.

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Late January check-in

Well, we’re almost a month into the new year. I hope everyone is doing well with your resolutions and goals and renewal stuff. I ended up being sick the first week of the month and had a delayed return to work and everything else. I’m happy to report that I’ve continued my workouts that I’ve been doing for a year and three months now and my devotional time each day and my routines. I have to admit that getting sick right off the bat and being run down for a while after that put a damper on my goal to write more, but I’ve done a little journaling. And here I am back to the blog. I’d like to stake the claim that I’ve remained quite busy at a cellular level. 😉 It’s an oldie but a goodie as far as excuses go.

I’ve also taken my own advice and done a little minor redecorating and tweaking decor as the decorations came down over a couple of weekends. And I’m still working on that. Photos will follow. Speaking of photos, that’s one of the decor tweaks I’ve done. I’ve gathered quite a few photo frames over the years from my thrift shop trips and I’ve always been into photography, starting with my first camera, a trusty old Kodak disc camera. So, I’ve put out some of the many winter scene photos from the creek behind the house where I grew up and other seasonal shots. I also simply moved some things from an unnoticed corner or shelf to a more prominent place, creating a new look. You can do that when you have a lot of thrift shop knick knacks to work with.

Like much of the U.S., I spent yesterday digging out from a snowstorm. That left little time or energy for much else. I’d say that’s a good excuse for not writing. The important thing is to keep making the effort. So, back to normal today. I suppose one good thing about being sick at the start of the year is that I feel like the beginning of the second month is a chance to do a renew redo. It’s a chance to recapture the renewal feeling since I didn’t really get going the first time around. Wish me luck as mother nature unleashes the harshest winter in years. May all the writers and artists take advantage of time indoors this season!

On a lighter note, I hope the handlers on Feb. 2nd outfit Punxatawny Phil with a bullet proof vest because if he doesn’t give the answer people want this year, someone may take a shot at him. This is Pennsylvania, after all. Just kidding. But really, that’s not so bad, that we’re almost to Groundhog Day already. That’s one of the few Bill Murray movies I like. What would you do if you had to repeat one day over and over? Like Murray’s character, you could see it as a blessing or a curse. You’d have a lot of time to learn new things and make discoveries in the world around you, but that would be the most epically challenging situation to find ways to feel rejuvenated or renewed! Would you savor the extra time, or get bored out of your gourd? It’s an intriguing idea. I think we all kind of have that choice throughout our lives. It’s the essence of getting what you want out of life. It’s what you make it.

I think I may have to expound on this subject. Till then, keep writing and keep renewing!

P.S. Speaking of new things, the image above is AI generated and the first time I’ve ever used one.

2/11/26 A further thought on the Groundhog Day part: I think the worst part of repeating the same day would be not being able to say the best is yet to come. Will I achieve the best I can be? Realize my biggest dreams? Will any of us? We don’t know. But every new day is a chance to find out. A chance to strive for our best life. And if you feel you have seen the best days, that’s great that you had that! Now you can focus on encouraging, inspiring and guiding others to the best days.