discipline

Keeping On, Part 2: Recharging

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In part 1, I wrote about how routines can help build a foundation for action and growth. I continue striving to do that as I have for the last year plus. But some days I’m just not feeling it. Today was one of those days. I was very tired and didn’t have much positive interaction through my day. Actually, I didn’t have a lot of interaction at all. I had to get some groceries. Not my favorite chore. Still, I did all the usual stuff: feeding the critters, watering plants, devotions and all that after work and the grocery store, and checking in on my mom via text. Still, it was a nice warm late summer day and I managed to take a short walk around the neighborhood after dinner. I plan to do more of that. It’s good to be familiar with your surroundings.

Funny thing is, I didn’t plan on a walk and I haven’t been doing that. So, something new sprung up even on a day when I was just going through the motions, emotionally. I have thought about walking around here recently, but didn’t get around to it. So, I guess my subconscious nudged me where I needed to go. I’ll continue to enjoy walks at parks and other places, but walking near home is a nice way to take a breather.

Isolation is not good for our mental health, so get out there and do stuff, whatever that might be. Not every day is a thrill and we can’t feel joyful or excited 100% of the time, but by keeping on, you can make the mediocre days nothing more than that. Mediocre is way better than depressing or discouraging, and you’ll be back to joyful or at least content that much sooner because you kept up the stuff you have control over.

Hey, look at that! Tomorrow is Hump Day already. Things are moving. Keep on being you, keep on being, keep on doing, keep on.

Dreams Deferred and where to find them

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Do you have a dream that you’ve wanted since a young age, but you haven’t worked toward it in years? Well, if you haven’t totally given up on it, then it’s not dead.  It’s not a fail. It’s a dream deferred. Welcome aboard. I’ve got one too.

When I was in 6th grade and having some behavioral problems for the first and only time in my school years, I discovered that I love to write and I was pretty good at it. I made it a goal to write a book. I’m 53, and that dream is unfulfilled.  As are the additional dreams that have grown from that first seed.  Writing a book series,  a book in all my favored genres,  a screenplay,  multiple screenplays, a blockbuster movie. My dreams have gotten loftier and more numerous as I’ve experienced life and grown in confidence and ambition.

Yet they are all unfulfilled. I’ve given it much thought over the years and the main reason the above dreams lie dormant, is lack of discipline.  There are many accompanying excuses: no time, no energy, bad jobs sucked my energy away, toxic people sucked my energy away, depression, anxiety, lack of support, lack of direction, not sure how to go about it, health problems, financial insecurity, etc., etc.

Sure, some of these are pretty good excuses and are certainly things that have to be addressed, but did they take ALL of my time and energy? No. Could I have done at least one of these goals despite those things? Yes. But I didn’t .  I’m not beating myself up.  I did have some pretty tough challenges and have been largely on my own. (Partly my own fault for not talking about it to anyone or seeking positive relationships.)

But when it comes down to it, I could have done more writing. I could have chosen a specific goal and kept at it until it was achieved, but I didn’t. Discipline is hard. Damn hard. It’s hard to establish and easily derailed.

Before I completely demoralize you all, let me move on to the positives. As mentioned in my previous post, I’ve been doing a lot of work on several areas of self-improvement. (Discipline is the mode of transportation  to an improved self.) I’ve been working out and am already in the best shape I’ve been since at least 40.  I’m getting better with punctuality (again) and I’ve been really good about doing a daily devotional time where I read some in my Bible and read from a spiritual, but not religious devotional book. (Journey to the Heart), writing in my journal, and restarting my blog. While I haven’t gotten back into a project of writing, all of these efforts take discipline to do and help me to be more disciplined overall.

Discipline begets discipline. That’s something I learned years ago. Unfortunately, it works in the reverse as well. The more you slack in one area, the easier it is to let something else slide. Well, I’m on  an uptick now and I plan to keep it going. So, as I journey back to a higher plane of living, I think I’ll find that place where my deferred dreams lie fallow. I don’t remember where or when I laid them down.  We never do, do we? But the good news is, you will inevitably find them as you merge back into that lane of action, discipline, and hope that will carry you toward your destination.

Sunrise, sunset

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A follow-up to Tuesday’s post: I was about to hit the snooze button the very next day, when I spotted a red glow through the closed blinds. A peek through revealed a gorgeous sunrise. I took it as a sign, and opened the blinds to enjoy a good long look at nature’s beauty. Then I went back to bed. Just kidding, I’m happy to say.  Did I get ya?

On the contrary, I turned the alarm off and got ready for work. I got there the earliest I have in a while. I quite accidentally overslept today, but still got to work a couple minutes ahead.  Momentum starting.

Then I was reminded by a news update that today was the first day of summer. It was a good day. Now, I’m watching the sunset on Midsummer’s Eve and enjoying the longest day of the year come to a close.

The lightning bugs rise up from the lawn to meet the day’s last light with their own. Earlier, my cat joined me in my chair on the deck, purring and padding my shirt. He has really soft fur, soothing.  I feel like I can do this. Working a lot, trying to write, keep house, take care of business, and myself.

I guess you have to find inspiration in the everyday beauty around you.  Find strength in the people around you, most of whom are dealing with the same things, or similar that you are. We’re all in this together. We can do it!

 

Photo credit: Eric Ritchey, Summer solstice sunset, 6/21/2018