On track train of thought, finished sentences

Daily writing prompt
What do you enjoy most about writing?

In response to this prompt, I started thinking about how when you have a group of people conversing, you inevitably have those overlaps where two people talk at once, or someone interrupts another. You don’t always get to finish what you were saying.

Other times, the subject veers suddenly elsewhere before you add what you were going to say about the current one. You usually just let that comment go if it’s not that important to bring the subject back to it. Sometimes you lose your train of thought when waiting your turn to speak or when the subject changes, and the thought is gone like a fart in the wind. Don’t you hate when that happens? Probably happens more to the over 40 folks. Am I right?

Sometimes you have the really gabby person that doesn’t let anyone else get a word in, always talks about themselves, and then they change the subject. I have a certain family member like that. Fortunately, most people I talk to are pretty decent and I have learned to add more than I once did. I was very quiet when I was younger.

So, this isn’t meant as a complaint list about how well people converse or socialize. Its about the ability that writing gives you to take an inspiration or idea, follow the train of thought and flesh out the details. And you can do it all without interruption or vying for attention. (Unless your own thoughts get ahead of you and you have trouble focusing, as can happen when a really big idea hits you and you get all excited. Like when your writer’s block on that story or script finally breaks.)

I think for introverts, it’s also less distracting to write than to talk it out. You become one with the keyboard, or pen and notebook, whatever your medium of choice is. It may be easier to enter the zone for some of us introverts, when we write. We’re used to being alone with our thoughts.

It’s a direct outflow of ideas and creativity. It can be very cleansing, especially when writing just for yourself, like a journal. Perhaps that’s the most enjoyable form of writing because you don’t have to worry about any pushback, opinions, or offenses. (Unless someone invades your diary, but then how are they going to complain about something you said, right?)

Perhaps the worst part of writing is facing a blank page, but tonight’s page filled right up after a moment of thinking, thanks to this prompt. Whatever form you enjoy, keep writing!

Dreams Deferred and where to find them

Do you have a dream that you’ve wanted since a young age, but you haven’t worked toward it in years? Well, if you haven’t totally given up on it, then it’s not dead.  It’s not a fail. It’s a dream deferred. Welcome aboard. I’ve got one too.

When I was in 6th grade and having some behavioral problems for the first and only time in my school years, I discovered that I love to write and I was pretty good at it. I made it a goal to write a book. I’m 53, and that dream is unfulfilled.  As are the additional dreams that have grown from that first seed.  Writing a book series,  a book in all my favored genres,  a screenplay,  multiple screenplays, a blockbuster movie. My dreams have gotten loftier and more numerous as I’ve experienced life and grown in confidence and ambition.

Yet they are all unfulfilled. I’ve given it much thought over the years and the main reason the above dreams lie dormant, is lack of discipline.  There are many accompanying excuses: no time, no energy, bad jobs sucked my energy away, toxic people sucked my energy away, depression, anxiety, lack of support, lack of direction, not sure how to go about it, health problems, financial insecurity, etc., etc.

Sure, some of these are pretty good excuses and are certainly things that have to be addressed, but did they take ALL of my time and energy? No. Could I have done at least one of these goals despite those things? Yes. But I didn’t .  I’m not beating myself up.  I did have some pretty tough challenges and have been largely on my own. (Partly my own fault for not talking about it to anyone or seeking positive relationships.)

But when it comes down to it, I could have done more writing. I could have chosen a specific goal and kept at it until it was achieved, but I didn’t. Discipline is hard. Damn hard. It’s hard to establish and easily derailed.

Before I completely demoralize you all, let me move on to the positives. As mentioned in my previous post, I’ve been doing a lot of work on several areas of self-improvement. (Discipline is the mode of transportation  to an improved self.) I’ve been working out and am already in the best shape I’ve been since at least 40.  I’m getting better with punctuality (again) and I’ve been really good about doing a daily devotional time where I read some in my Bible and read from a spiritual, but not religious devotional book. (Journey to the Heart), writing in my journal, and restarting my blog. While I haven’t gotten back into a project of writing, all of these efforts take discipline to do and help me to be more disciplined overall.

Discipline begets discipline. That’s something I learned years ago. Unfortunately, it works in the reverse as well. The more you slack in one area, the easier it is to let something else slide. Well, I’m on  an uptick now and I plan to keep it going. So, as I journey back to a higher plane of living, I think I’ll find that place where my deferred dreams lie fallow. I don’t remember where or when I laid them down.  We never do, do we? But the good news is, you will inevitably find them as you merge back into that lane of action, discipline, and hope that will carry you toward your destination.

Working toward something

I’ve been on a self-improvement kick for the last several months. Really, it’s a renewal of a lifelong effort. I’ve been working on being more punctual to work.  I’d been on time every day for a long time but started to backslide into old habits. I’m not on time every day yet, but I’m getting better. I’m on time some days and when I’m late it’s at least not as late as before.  When I’m late, I stay the extra minutes at the end of the day, which my workplace tolerates, but it’s not ideal, obviously. I’m doing daily devotionals which is important to me as a Christian. (I’m a progressive Christian, not at all a Christian Right adherent.) I read my bible and then read a daily excerpt in a non religious book called Journey to the Heart which is basically about being more spiritual and in tune with your emotions.

I started working out with the weight set and weight bench I have in my basement but hadn’t used in about 12 years. It’s now routine to do it three times a week. I started in late October.  I’ve increased the weight I used on various exercises twice already.  It feels good. I’m thankful  I’m healthy enough to do it.

I’ve been writing in my journal more to keep track of life events and my mood and reflections on them. It’s a great tool to process things  and helps to jog your memory when you look back on things as well as focusing on things you can improve on going forward.

I’m also trying to be more communicative with friends and family. When you let things bottle up and don’t talk about them with anyone, it can sour your mood and frame of mind.  I’m also doing counseling to that end.

I’ve been trying to catch up on projects on my living space. I put up a shelf in my bedroom that I’d had for years and never put in place. I got a new plant stand and better organized my many house plants. Making your environment more appealing is a great way to boost your mood.

I titled this post working toward something because I’ve done all these things for the purpose of general self-improvement without having a specific end goal in mind. As I work on general self- development, I begin to seek more focus for the future.  I know that I want to use the gift God gave me in writing more fully, but I need to zero in on the how and when to do each step of the way. That’s why I’m trying to get back to blogging more.  I hope people find it worthwhile. I certainly do. I know we’re all just trying to muddle through this world with some kind of positive outcome. It seems like some people only focus on interfering with others’ efforts to do that, but we can’t let that discourage us.

So, my title of “working toward something” may seem vague but it’s just being honest that I am still trying to focus on specifics, still trying to determine my purpose, my place in this world. Aren’t we all?

Let’s work on it together. Be an encourager and make your critiques specific and constructive. Don’t tear down, but build up. Make suggestions of things the other person can do, rather than criticize what they have done.

We’re all in this together. We’re all on the same team – humanity. Keep trying. Help others. Look for the good in life!