mental health

Light Friday Nights

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What used to be. What yet might be.

Light and quiet is fine for now for a guy in his mid 50’s. I miss the regular outings of just a few years ago, and the semi regular game nights, and the occasional movie outings, the free outdoor concerts of the summer, and even the Sci-Fi Friday lineup of old with my bro.

Life is always changing. People get busy, change jobs, fall in and out of grace, and grow apart. Going out is also so much more expensive than it used to be. For a while, the thrift shop after work and then my workout in my basement gym followed by grilling and deck time was the routine. Now, it seems no one is available, and I’m too tired to find anything on Netflix. The night falls quickly and my energy fades quicker still.

On the upside, I’m up earlier on Saturday and there’s always something to do with the house if I’m not going out anywhere. And, either Saturday or Sunday is Mom visit day, so the weekend is quickly filled up no matter what.

Sometimes, it feels like a funny magnet I found at a local festival this year: “Another fine day ruined by adulthood.” It’s true that life gets harder and fuller of responsibilities and obligations as you get older, but you also learn that your life and your actions, your thoughts and feelings have intrinsic value even if no one seems to notice or appreciate you. It’s called independence.

It’s harder to get a couple or few friends together when you’re over 40 or over 50, but you value the times you have together, even if they’re less frequent.

Recently, I’ve done things on weeknights which I’ve been avoiding for years since I get up pretty stinking early for work. Turns out, I can still do it. as long as I pace myself through the week. Feel like I need a wink emoji after that. Sounds kind of sad, but I’m making the effort. I’m living my life. I’m still standing and I’m looking ahead while still taking care of the immediacies.

The Holy Spirit, or the Universe, however you think of it, will sustain you as long as you do the best you can and be true to yourself. So keep up the good work, my good folks.

Get Out And Breathe II: Channeling Dad

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I have had some extra days off this month due to the availability of voluntary unpaid days off. I took a few because I felt the extra time would be more valuable than the relatively small amount of lost pay. This past Friday was one of those days and I was happy to spend a couple hours of it outdoors with a good friend and her tiny, but valiant dog who led most of the way on our walk at Leaser Lake in northeastern PA. I was familiar with the locale by name and pictures on social media, but had never been there. I’m so glad I finally got there!

As I’ve written about before, getting out in nature is a great way to clear your head and refresh your spirit. Whether you’re in touch with it or not, there’s a natural connection between our souls and the natural world around us. I grew up in a family that, thankfully sought out that connection, going on many hikes, rides and picnics. I also did some camping in my young adulthood, mostly with my brother and cousin. That was very enjoyable even if it is a bit of work. (Probably why I haven’t done it for so long.)

On this adventure with my human and canine companions, my shutterbug self took many photos with my phone while I soaked up the scene with my eyes and my spirit. Being near Halloween, I couldn’t help but think about all the souls that communed with Mother Nature in this place over the years. And then, toward the end of the unexpectedly long walk, (we just started walking without knowing how long a trail we were venturing on) we wound up blazing our own trail for a short distance. It was obvious that the main trail went off to the left sharply, but I thought there was an old trail continuing ahead, so I plunged forward, much to the chagrin of our canine leader who had so faithfully tugged ahead on point.

As we picked our way through the underbrush and through thankfully dry little runoff troughs, I couldn’t help feeling like I was channeling my dad. I don’t think there was ever a hike we went on that he didn’t disappear for a spell, going off trail to explore. I felt connected to him as well as nature in those moments. It felt good to indulge in a shared trait with my dad, our adventurous spirit and love of life. We don’t get to relax and just go where the wind takes us very often while adulting these days.

Thanks for leading me on that hidden trail, Dad.

Here’s some of the lovely scenery the lake environs offered the other day.

Keeping On, Part 2: Recharging

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In part 1, I wrote about how routines can help build a foundation for action and growth. I continue striving to do that as I have for the last year plus. But some days I’m just not feeling it. Today was one of those days. I was very tired and didn’t have much positive interaction through my day. Actually, I didn’t have a lot of interaction at all. I had to get some groceries. Not my favorite chore. Still, I did all the usual stuff: feeding the critters, watering plants, devotions and all that after work and the grocery store, and checking in on my mom via text. Still, it was a nice warm late summer day and I managed to take a short walk around the neighborhood after dinner. I plan to do more of that. It’s good to be familiar with your surroundings.

Funny thing is, I didn’t plan on a walk and I haven’t been doing that. So, something new sprung up even on a day when I was just going through the motions, emotionally. I have thought about walking around here recently, but didn’t get around to it. So, I guess my subconscious nudged me where I needed to go. I’ll continue to enjoy walks at parks and other places, but walking near home is a nice way to take a breather.

Isolation is not good for our mental health, so get out there and do stuff, whatever that might be. Not every day is a thrill and we can’t feel joyful or excited 100% of the time, but by keeping on, you can make the mediocre days nothing more than that. Mediocre is way better than depressing or discouraging, and you’ll be back to joyful or at least content that much sooner because you kept up the stuff you have control over.

Hey, look at that! Tomorrow is Hump Day already. Things are moving. Keep on being you, keep on being, keep on doing, keep on.