life

Fate is blowing in the wind

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Daily writing prompt
Do you believe in fate/destiny?
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Do I believe in fate? Yes. And no. I believe the major points in life, or at least our overall purpose, is influenced by fate, but not necessarily written in stone. There are infinite possibilities that the path of life can take us on, but some things would come about no matter what path plays out. I think Forrest Gump said it best in the scene where he’s talking to his dead mama at here grave. He says he doesn’t know if we all have a destiny like Lt. Dan says or if we’re all just kind of floating on the wind. (Remember the feather in the opening and closing shots?) Forrest says, “I think, maybe, it’s both.” A combination of fate and making our own way as we bump into each other along the way.

That’s where I stand. The blended destiny of influence and effort. It’s like when people experience tragedy or loss. You can’t control what happens to you, but you can choose how to react. That makes all the difference.

In the same way, other people can influence you for better or for worse. That influence can be direct and invited or manipulative and unwanted. You can choose to let them in or shut them out. To let them change your mind or ignore them. To proceed as planned or change course. Sometimes the result is the same no matter what you do. Maybe that’s fate.

It’s hard not to talk about fate vs. making your own destiny without at least touching on the question of God. Most people believe in some concept of a higher power, whether it’s the traditional view of a masculine God in trinity: Father, Son and Holy Ghost, or something more abstract: The Universe, a universal force, or the collective unconscious. I grew up in a Christian family and have gone to Christian protestant or Christian non-denominational churches throughout my life and I’m comfortable thinking of God the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. I am not threatened or offended by other beliefs, though. When someone says something like “the Universe is pushing me to do this” or the Universe made that happen, I’m okay with that. I prefer to think of it as God and that the Holy Spirit works and moves within our souls, but what’s important is that there’s some connection that runs through us all on a spiritual plane. In other words, in our souls.

And yes, I think that spiritual realm influences our place in the world and the path our lives take. But we affect it as well. God gave us free will. We aren’t brainless automatons who have no choice but to do God’s will. We can listen to Him or go our own way. And He gives us freedom to explore and forge our path. But there are inevitabilities in life that we have no control over, like death. We all grow old and die and sometimes we lose people before they get old. That can certainly shape our lives one way or another. So again, it comes down to how we react to life’s situations.

Another big area of influence on our lives is who we let into our world. I think it’s, again, a blending of destiny and action. We may meet a friend or significant other who have a profound influence on us, for good or ill. It can mean the difference between success and failure, ordinary or extraordinary, or contentment and unrest.

So, what’s the answer? I guess it’s to keep moving, trying our best to grow and develop as a person, to choose wisely who we walk with and be ready for whatever Life, or Fate sends our way. Do the best with the cards you’re dealt.

Disconnected in a world of connectivity

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These days, everything has connectivity, from our pocket computers (phones) to our cars to appliances, sometimes even our whole house. But how many of us feel connected to each other? How many neighbors do you know by name? How many coworkers or church members do you say hello to without really knowing much about them or what’s going on in their lives? I’m not trying to point fingers. I can think of plenty of people I only exchange perfunctory greetings with. It’s not that I don’t want to get to know them. I just tend to get in a rut and don’t initiate conversations with people I don’t know, even though I’m actually quite curious about those around me.

I guess it’s partly the introvert/extrovert thing and often, just being tired and a little withdrawn as a result. And, of course, we’re all busy all the time and rushing from one thing to another.

But I’ve found that when you make the effort to talk to someone new, they are eager to reciprocate. We all want to be more connected to others and the world around us, beyond the electronic level. I’m talking real person to person interaction.

Some people blame social media for the lack of real life experience, but I’ve often started talking to people at church or at work because I became Facebook friends and then talked to the person next time I saw them IRL. Social media can be a tool to help break the ice and can enhance real world connection rather than replace it. It’s all in how you use it.

In high school, I used novelty tee shirts as an icebreaker, especially The Far Side. I was kind of known for it. You could use unique articles of clothing or jewelry for icebreakers. Point is, to make the effort and to take time to notice those around you. Find connections in the maze of connectivity.

Working toward something

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I’ve been on a self-improvement kick for the last several months. Really, it’s a renewal of a lifelong effort. I’ve been working on being more punctual to work.  I’d been on time every day for a long time but started to backslide into old habits. I’m not on time every day yet, but I’m getting better. I’m on time some days and when I’m late it’s at least not as late as before.  When I’m late, I stay the extra minutes at the end of the day, which my workplace tolerates, but it’s not ideal, obviously. I’m doing daily devotionals which is important to me as a Christian. (I’m a progressive Christian, not at all a Christian Right adherent.) I read my bible and then read a daily excerpt in a non religious book called Journey to the Heart which is basically about being more spiritual and in tune with your emotions.

I started working out with the weight set and weight bench I have in my basement but hadn’t used in about 12 years. It’s now routine to do it three times a week. I started in late October.  I’ve increased the weight I used on various exercises twice already.  It feels good. I’m thankful  I’m healthy enough to do it.

I’ve been writing in my journal more to keep track of life events and my mood and reflections on them. It’s a great tool to process things  and helps to jog your memory when you look back on things as well as focusing on things you can improve on going forward.

I’m also trying to be more communicative with friends and family. When you let things bottle up and don’t talk about them with anyone, it can sour your mood and frame of mind.  I’m also doing counseling to that end.

I’ve been trying to catch up on projects on my living space. I put up a shelf in my bedroom that I’d had for years and never put in place. I got a new plant stand and better organized my many house plants. Making your environment more appealing is a great way to boost your mood.

I titled this post working toward something because I’ve done all these things for the purpose of general self-improvement without having a specific end goal in mind. As I work on general self- development, I begin to seek more focus for the future.  I know that I want to use the gift God gave me in writing more fully, but I need to zero in on the how and when to do each step of the way. That’s why I’m trying to get back to blogging more.  I hope people find it worthwhile. I certainly do. I know we’re all just trying to muddle through this world with some kind of positive outcome. It seems like some people only focus on interfering with others’ efforts to do that, but we can’t let that discourage us.

So, my title of “working toward something” may seem vague but it’s just being honest that I am still trying to focus on specifics, still trying to determine my purpose, my place in this world. Aren’t we all?

Let’s work on it together. Be an encourager and make your critiques specific and constructive. Don’t tear down, but build up. Make suggestions of things the other person can do, rather than criticize what they have done.

We’re all in this together. We’re all on the same team – humanity. Keep trying. Help others. Look for the good in life!