life

Disconnected in a world of connectivity

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These days, everything has connectivity, from our pocket computers (phones) to our cars to appliances, sometimes even our whole house. But how many of us feel connected to each other? How many neighbors do you know by name? How many coworkers or church members do you say hello to without really knowing much about them or what’s going on in their lives? I’m not trying to point fingers. I can think of plenty of people I only exchange perfunctory greetings with. It’s not that I don’t want to get to know them. I just tend to get in a rut and don’t initiate conversations with people I don’t know, even though I’m actually quite curious about those around me.

I guess it’s partly the introvert/extrovert thing and often, just being tired and a little withdrawn as a result. And, of course, we’re all busy all the time and rushing from one thing to another.

But I’ve found that when you make the effort to talk to someone new, they are eager to reciprocate. We all want to be more connected to others and the world around us, beyond the electronic level. I’m talking real person to person interaction.

Some people blame social media for the lack of real life experience, but I’ve often started talking to people at church or at work because I became Facebook friends and then talked to the person next time I saw them IRL. Social media can be a tool to help break the ice and can enhance real world connection rather than replace it. It’s all in how you use it.

In high school, I used novelty tee shirts as an icebreaker, especially The Far Side. I was kind of known for it. You could use unique articles of clothing or jewelry for icebreakers. Point is, to make the effort and to take time to notice those around you. Find connections in the maze of connectivity.

Working toward something

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I’ve been on a self-improvement kick for the last several months. Really, it’s a renewal of a lifelong effort. I’ve been working on being more punctual to work.  I’d been on time every day for a long time but started to backslide into old habits. I’m not on time every day yet, but I’m getting better. I’m on time some days and when I’m late it’s at least not as late as before.  When I’m late, I stay the extra minutes at the end of the day, which my workplace tolerates, but it’s not ideal, obviously. I’m doing daily devotionals which is important to me as a Christian. (I’m a progressive Christian, not at all a Christian Right adherent.) I read my bible and then read a daily excerpt in a non religious book called Journey to the Heart which is basically about being more spiritual and in tune with your emotions.

I started working out with the weight set and weight bench I have in my basement but hadn’t used in about 12 years. It’s now routine to do it three times a week. I started in late October.  I’ve increased the weight I used on various exercises twice already.  It feels good. I’m thankful  I’m healthy enough to do it.

I’ve been writing in my journal more to keep track of life events and my mood and reflections on them. It’s a great tool to process things  and helps to jog your memory when you look back on things as well as focusing on things you can improve on going forward.

I’m also trying to be more communicative with friends and family. When you let things bottle up and don’t talk about them with anyone, it can sour your mood and frame of mind.  I’m also doing counseling to that end.

I’ve been trying to catch up on projects on my living space. I put up a shelf in my bedroom that I’d had for years and never put in place. I got a new plant stand and better organized my many house plants. Making your environment more appealing is a great way to boost your mood.

I titled this post working toward something because I’ve done all these things for the purpose of general self-improvement without having a specific end goal in mind. As I work on general self- development, I begin to seek more focus for the future.  I know that I want to use the gift God gave me in writing more fully, but I need to zero in on the how and when to do each step of the way. That’s why I’m trying to get back to blogging more.  I hope people find it worthwhile. I certainly do. I know we’re all just trying to muddle through this world with some kind of positive outcome. It seems like some people only focus on interfering with others’ efforts to do that, but we can’t let that discourage us.

So, my title of “working toward something” may seem vague but it’s just being honest that I am still trying to focus on specifics, still trying to determine my purpose, my place in this world. Aren’t we all?

Let’s work on it together. Be an encourager and make your critiques specific and constructive. Don’t tear down, but build up. Make suggestions of things the other person can do, rather than criticize what they have done.

We’re all in this together. We’re all on the same team – humanity. Keep trying. Help others. Look for the good in life!

Introverts, Be You!

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   I’ve just started reading a book about an introverted young woman trying to be an extrovert for a year.  The title is “Sorry I’m Late. I Didn’t Want to Come.” It’s pretty good so far.  I’m also an introvert, but thankfully not a shy introvert anymore like the author is. I was painfully shy until my mid teen years and it was a long slow process coming out of my shell. 

   As I said, I’m still an introvert but I do enjoy social events now. I love hanging out with friends, going places and doing things, and meeting new people. I just need downtime to reenergize in between. A good example would be back in my late twenties when I worked in the Men’s Department at Sears and we had “Super Saturdays” every week of the Christmas season. We had four registers and the lines were all a mile long.  I actually enjoyed the stimulation and the holiday atmosphere.  I cheerfully waited on customer after customer, for two or three hours. Unfortunately, it went on a good hour longer than my energy lasted. By the time I got a break, I was emotionally exhausted. I just felt drained, not anxious or depressed or angry or anything like that. Just pretty tuckered out. But after a somewhat secluded break, I felt rested.

   When I was younger, I had a lot more anxiety and the above experience might have been more intimidating, and not so enjoyable. I had both generalized and social anxiety. I don’t have much anxiety anymore. Frankly, I don’t care too much about what other people think as I’ve gained experience and confidence. I’ve also met a lot of nasty or arrogant people.  Their negativity is their problem, not mine.  It’s very freeing when you realize that, while not perfect, you’re one of the good ones and there’s no need to be fettered by jealous haters, snobs, well meaning friends and family, or malicious sociapaths. (I’ve met all kinds.) Focus on the good folks you meet and don’t worry about the rest, or their judgment. It doesn’t matter.

   You be you!  And have the confidence and sense of adventure to keep developing who that is.