Personal Reflections

All Hallows Eve

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That’s what Halloween means. It’s the eve of All Saint’s Day. Many ancient cultures believed that spirits of the dead visited on this night. The weather in my area sure fit the day. It was very gray and chilly and windy, with the just changed leaves ripping free from the branches that had so recently sustained them and now flitted and fluttered wildly in the air. It felt spooky, but exhilarating as many folks celebrated in light-hearted fun a day that is steeped in dark and scary traditions.

It’s the third Halloween since my dad passed and my family has had some new concerns and transitions in recent months. I couldn’t help thinking about days gone by and how much life has changed. I miss the wholeness of my family unit and my dad’s quiet strength and stability, but I’m thankful for those traits which he passed on to me along with perseverance and tenacity, and an unflappable confidence borne of a love of life and faith in God.

On this day, with people dressing up as their favorite characters from pop culture, I feel like I can call upon my dad’s presence like Luke Skywalker talking to Obi Wan and Yoda surrounded by their ethereal glow courtesy of The Force. I can’t converse with him and he didn’t give a lot of direct advice, but his steady presence and loving air surround me and guide me.

When someone else is bringing their worries into your aura, expressing anxiety or even panic, it’s hard to hold onto that less tangible spiritual connection, but that’s when you just have to refocus, remember to breathe and put one foot in front of the other. God, and those who have gone before, are with you. And you are with you!

By that I mean that your own consciousness and experience are like an entity unto themselves. You’ve gotten through everything in your life so far and you’re still standing! No one else was there for every minute of that. Only you. So draw confidence from that and remember that you will keep growing and getting better at communing with your spirit, which is connected to God and the loved ones who have moved on. You got this!

Happy All Hallows Eve!

Get Out And Breathe II: Channeling Dad

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I have had some extra days off this month due to the availability of voluntary unpaid days off. I took a few because I felt the extra time would be more valuable than the relatively small amount of lost pay. This past Friday was one of those days and I was happy to spend a couple hours of it outdoors with a good friend and her tiny, but valiant dog who led most of the way on our walk at Leaser Lake in northeastern PA. I was familiar with the locale by name and pictures on social media, but had never been there. I’m so glad I finally got there!

As I’ve written about before, getting out in nature is a great way to clear your head and refresh your spirit. Whether you’re in touch with it or not, there’s a natural connection between our souls and the natural world around us. I grew up in a family that, thankfully sought out that connection, going on many hikes, rides and picnics. I also did some camping in my young adulthood, mostly with my brother and cousin. That was very enjoyable even if it is a bit of work. (Probably why I haven’t done it for so long.)

On this adventure with my human and canine companions, my shutterbug self took many photos with my phone while I soaked up the scene with my eyes and my spirit. Being near Halloween, I couldn’t help but think about all the souls that communed with Mother Nature in this place over the years. And then, toward the end of the unexpectedly long walk, (we just started walking without knowing how long a trail we were venturing on) we wound up blazing our own trail for a short distance. It was obvious that the main trail went off to the left sharply, but I thought there was an old trail continuing ahead, so I plunged forward, much to the chagrin of our canine leader who had so faithfully tugged ahead on point.

As we picked our way through the underbrush and through thankfully dry little runoff troughs, I couldn’t help feeling like I was channeling my dad. I don’t think there was ever a hike we went on that he didn’t disappear for a spell, going off trail to explore. I felt connected to him as well as nature in those moments. It felt good to indulge in a shared trait with my dad, our adventurous spirit and love of life. We don’t get to relax and just go where the wind takes us very often while adulting these days.

Thanks for leading me on that hidden trail, Dad.

Here’s some of the lovely scenery the lake environs offered the other day.

The Earth is burning. Are we really ok?

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Living in the northeast U. S., I’m seeing a lot of haze from Canadian wildfires this summer.  It’s not as bad as when it first occurred about two years ago, but today was pretty bad.  I am taking it in stride.  I don’t feel any adverse health effects.  I’m thankful that I have been able to keep up weight training at home since last October and I’m in the best shape I’ve been in years.

I also am not feeling anxiety about the smoke.  There’s nothing I can do about that, but the aforementioned exercise has enabled me to handle it better.  Of course, if it gets worse, it won’t matter what shape you’re in, we’ll all need breathing masks.  But I’ll still keep focused on things I can control. It’s all we can do.

The thing about these big problems beyond an individual’s control, though, is that there seems to always be something happening.  These fires are happening more frequently and intensely due to climate change, which brings many other problems as well.  Super storms, flooding, famine, species disappearing.  It can be very overwhelming.

Then you have your normal personal stuff that brings its challenges: relationships, family, work, finances, aging.  Survival.  And it seems like life just keeps getting busier for us all while we try to juggle all the responsibilities and obligations.

There’s no one coping strategy that works for everyone, but I’ve found it helpful to adopt a routine over the last year that includes making time for daily devotionals, working out on the designated days, taking care of the critters (my two cats, feeding the neighborhood strays, and the birds), texting with my mom while I make supper and she has her supper.  It helps her to have a visit by text for dinner since my dad died.  Then it’s time for writing and relaxing on the couch or on the deck depending on the time of year and the weather.  Unfortunately, the writing time is the one that keeps fizzling out, especially after I’ve eaten and the TV is on and I’m laying back on the couch.  That’s where working on the routines comes in. And trying to manage things you can control to the best of your ability. If you don’t beat yourself up and feel satisfied as long as you’re working on those things, then it can help alleviate anxiety and feeling overwhelmed by the chaotic world around you.

And of course, stay connected with others. We’re all in this together, so reach out to your friends and family, and always be ready for new friends.  Try to understand other people’s views so that we don’t feel so disconnected and separate. We can feel a sense of community and cooperation that will inspire us and keep us going.