Behavioral health: a misnomer

This post was sparked by news I just received from my mom concerning my sister.  She has a psychiatric diagnosis. The specifics will remain undisclosed for her privacy, but let me first address the general term.  For some years, the psychiatric field has taken to calling things like depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, etc. by the phrase “behavioral health”, rather than the older, and more accurate, mental health.

It’s a misnomer because it implies that the patient’s behavior is somehow causing the problem. It’s mental illness, not behavioral illness.

My sister was already kind of  “on the edge” lately, emotionally and mentally with her ongoing illness. She’s had many hospitalizations over the years when the symptoms of her illness or the medication management thereof, become too much to deal with.

Then someone from her church, whom she thought was turning out to be a new friend, invited her to a Christian coffee house last Friday. That was not the problem. They both enjoyed it. It was a couple days later that this person said something to my sister about the devil putting a bug in her, or something to that effect, referring to her mental illness. I’m getting a third party relay of information here, but I’ve heard it before.

I myself have bipolar depression.  It was more than twenty years ago, that I tried Biblical counseling. During the months that I was going there, I began to realize I was missing something. It was the fact that I, like my sister, had a mental health issue. When I shared this with my counselor, he told me mental illness is a misnomer. I never returned. I felt betrayed that I had spent time and money there, and shared intimate things, only to be met with a brick wall of ignorance and rejection.

I sought medical help and through medication and God-given inner strength, I have fared much better than my sister, thankfully. As someone I met through NAMI (National Alliance for the Mentally Ill) once said, “But for the grace of God, there go I.”

So, this night, my sister waits alone in the ER for a bed among the mental health departments of any area hospital.  Somehow, none are available in the expansive, profitable “non-profit” hospital networks of our area, save for one an hour and a half away, which somehow qualifies as part of this network area, as far as the profit-gorged insurance companies are concerned.  She’s alone after my exhausted 86 year old dad and 77 year old mom went home for the night, having spent most of the day with her, waiting.

Visitation will not be practical, if she ever gets to that bed. The social worker said it sometimes takes days to arrange a transport from one facility to another of that distance. What a system.

I’ll keep you posted.

P.S. A moment of tough love from a sibling. While the church member should not have said what she did, I wish my sister would learn to assert herself. Hell, tell her off, and be done with her, rather than build it up to this dramatic event. I understand that she has an illness, but that’s what therapy is for. Sounds harsh, I know, but what are sibling for, right?

Small world

I sometimes feel bad that my indoor cats don’t get to go beyond the deck.  Their world is so small.

Then I think how relatively small my own world is. I’ve been to a number of states in the US, but I’ve never been abroad. I’m not a socialite who has a hundred friends or so. I don’t go to a lot of different area eateries or places of note. There’s a lot of things I haven’t done, places I haven’t been, people I don’t know.

But it’s okay.  I’m branching out more as I go. I’m making more friends, trying new places and things. Unlike the cats, I have the internet, so I can at least virtually explore the world and its varying people and nature.  I can always explore the world around me through the people I see everyday. They all have stories to share. That’s pretty exciting.

I will not stop believing that I’ll get to do the things I want to do, as long as I stay determined and motivated.  And as for the cats, well, they have me and my brother, and each other, and the deck and windows. They seem content.

Am I content? Hmmm. Have to say not entirely. I’m trying to be happy with where I’m at, while staying hopeful about the future. I do pretty well at that. That’s good enough for now.

We’re all in this together

With so much division in our nation, right now,  it’s hard for any of us to remember a frequent theme of mine: “We’re all in this together.” I must admit I too have had many an argument on Facebook,  and tweeted or re-tweeted some harshly worded political messages. Some of my social media friends may find it hard to believe, but I’ve actually refrained from posting things many times because I feel like everyone is sick of it.

So how do we breach the divide? How do we, the common folk, the labor force, the consumers, the middle class, work together? Wait, we do it everyday.  At our jobs, at the grocery store, in the doctor’s office waiting room, at the fair or the park, and many times, coming together in a crisis.

I work with one woman who hates Trump and one who whole-heartedly supports him. The funny thing is, I (and many of my coworkers) don’t like the person who shares my ideology, while I enjoy conversation with the opposing one. We never talk politics, but who needs to?

Perhaps, we need a middle-of-the-road third party to replace these privileged politicians, these manipulating players, these bickering bureaucrats.

I think, when it comes down to it, we all want the same thing. Safety, security for the present and the future for our families and friends, and everyone else, and a little extra for fun stuff, and, of course, someone special to share it all with.

Obviously, there’s a great deal of disagreement on how to achieve that, but the answer is usually somewhere in between the extremes. We all feel helpless and angry at different times when major events occur that we have no control over.   Maybe that’s why there are so many social media “debates”. It’s all we can do. Doesn’t help, does it?

Personally, I think we’re all being played by the rich and powerful as they consolidate their wealth and influence. Divide and conquer. We are certainly divided.

So, let’s try our best to remember that we truly are all in this together. We’re all just trying to get by, muddling through as best we can.