Disconnected in a world of connectivity

These days, everything has connectivity, from our pocket computers (phones) to our cars to appliances, sometimes even our whole house. But how many of us feel connected to each other? How many neighbors do you know by name? How many coworkers or church members do you say hello to without really knowing much about them or what’s going on in their lives? I’m not trying to point fingers. I can think of plenty of people I only exchange perfunctory greetings with. It’s not that I don’t want to get to know them. I just tend to get in a rut and don’t initiate conversations with people I don’t know, even though I’m actually quite curious about those around me.

I guess it’s partly the introvert/extrovert thing and often, just being tired and a little withdrawn as a result. And, of course, we’re all busy all the time and rushing from one thing to another.

But I’ve found that when you make the effort to talk to someone new, they are eager to reciprocate. We all want to be more connected to others and the world around us, beyond the electronic level. I’m talking real person to person interaction.

Some people blame social media for the lack of real life experience, but I’ve often started talking to people at church or at work because I became Facebook friends and then talked to the person next time I saw them IRL. Social media can be a tool to help break the ice and can enhance real world connection rather than replace it. It’s all in how you use it.

In high school, I used novelty tee shirts as an icebreaker, especially The Far Side. I was kind of known for it. You could use unique articles of clothing or jewelry for icebreakers. Point is, to make the effort and to take time to notice those around you. Find connections in the maze of connectivity.

A weight in my pocket

Those of you old enough to remember the pre-cellphone days are probably like me, wishing you didn’t have such an important thing to worry about. You also knew the phone numbers of family members and close friends. But then, you didn’t have PIN’s, passwords and other stuff to fill your head up.

For some, there’s another aspect to the anxiety associated with that pesky (cherished) communication device. It cuts both ways. Either it gives you no rest, or it taunts you with its prolonged silence.

Those who have lots of friends and talk on them all the time, or much worse, use it for work or business, may get tired of it ringing or chiming or whatever infernal noise it makes, notifying you that someone Liked your comment on their repost of a Tweet about something you saw on (fill in the blank social media.) Of course, some extreme, incomprehensible extroverts thrive on this, and drive everyone around them crazy. If you’re one of them, this post is not about you. Go away.

Just kidding.  There’s a flip side though to the busy folks dealing with “social noise”. (Did I just coin a phrase? Well, if you share it I might.) Anyway, the other side is those who never get calls or Likes, or new invites to join others’ electronic circles of influence. And more importantly, don’t get invites to actual events either. It’s the popularity contest gone viral, and seemingly at all ages. I like to think I’ve come a long way since my very unpopular existence in school. I still have room to grow, but I’m happy with my level of progress. So, it’s not about me, you see….

But I think of these things because I’ve been there, in the real world, not electronically, but nowadays, the two are melded together, and perhaps makes the loneliness even more profound.

Say hi to a shy or quiet coworker this week. They just might turn out to be quite interesting.  They could also be a real jerk and they’re quiet because they’re stuck up, but that’s not likely. If that does turn out to be the case, don’t blame me. It must have been something you said.  😉

Go connect! We’re all in this together.