divisiveness

The (un)Wisdom of Age

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Some of my coworkers of the last several years who are several years older than me, have often said that they have “no filter”. Meaning that they don’t care what others think or who might be offended by what they say, which reflects what they think, of course. When I first heard this, I thought it was a negative thing, like, if the majority of people hearing something you said are offended, maybe there’s a reason. I think there’s validity to that thinking, but maybe they’re not all wrong.

I don’t mean that it’s ok to go around offending people left and right, but in these days, almost anything you say can spark offense or controversy with someone. There’s a fine line between what’s offensive and what’s just challenging or even questioning, in an objective ponderous way. We’ve become so polarized by political differences and divisive leaders that we have forgotten how to disagree agreeably. I don’t claim to be above this or that I’ve never been divisive, but I try not to be. It especially helps when someone I know and respect reminds me that they might agree with some of the things that I rail about.

So, it’s good to not let the approval/non approval of others to shape your personality or beliefs, or to stifle your voice, but maybe your coworkers, friends, friends of friends, parents of friends, family of significant others, church members and others can help remind us that we are all in this together and that we, the people, the working schlubs who are the backbone of this country and the world economy, are not all that different. The powers that be among the super wealthy and the upper levels of government, industry and society are the ones who can’t get along and push their own agendas on the rest of us, often to our detriment.

Last fall, two gay friends and I sat in a crowded pub after playing pickleball by the invite of a couple who invited us to join them at their table. We chatted about general things while the Phillies lost a key game in the playoffs, which disappointed us all. The longer we talked, the more I sensed they weren’t totally liberal, but they also weren’t spouting right wing aggression at us. We all got along and even commented on that. They were really nice people and I wouldn’t have cared if they were Trumpers. They were just people. Middle class people who have had similar life experiences and came from similar backgrounds and lived in the same area. I could relate to them. Politicians from all over the country and vastly different socio-economic roots can’t seem to do what the rest of us do: find common ground.

Maybe we should just keep firing them all every 2, 4, or 6 years, depending on the length of their terms.

We’re all in this together

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With so much division in our nation, right now,  it’s hard for any of us to remember a frequent theme of mine: “We’re all in this together.” I must admit I too have had many an argument on Facebook,  and tweeted or re-tweeted some harshly worded political messages. Some of my social media friends may find it hard to believe, but I’ve actually refrained from posting things many times because I feel like everyone is sick of it.

So how do we breach the divide? How do we, the common folk, the labor force, the consumers, the middle class, work together? Wait, we do it everyday.  At our jobs, at the grocery store, in the doctor’s office waiting room, at the fair or the park, and many times, coming together in a crisis.

I work with one woman who hates Trump and one who whole-heartedly supports him. The funny thing is, I (and many of my coworkers) don’t like the person who shares my ideology, while I enjoy conversation with the opposing one. We never talk politics, but who needs to?

Perhaps, we need a middle-of-the-road third party to replace these privileged politicians, these manipulating players, these bickering bureaucrats.

I think, when it comes down to it, we all want the same thing. Safety, security for the present and the future for our families and friends, and everyone else, and a little extra for fun stuff, and, of course, someone special to share it all with.

Obviously, there’s a great deal of disagreement on how to achieve that, but the answer is usually somewhere in between the extremes. We all feel helpless and angry at different times when major events occur that we have no control over.   Maybe that’s why there are so many social media “debates”. It’s all we can do. Doesn’t help, does it?

Personally, I think we’re all being played by the rich and powerful as they consolidate their wealth and influence. Divide and conquer. We are certainly divided.

So, let’s try our best to remember that we truly are all in this together. We’re all just trying to get by, muddling through as best we can.