The beer man cometh

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There was a knock at my door tonight. Somehow, I knew who it was. He hadn’t come around for a while and it was about due. It was Stan, (name changed for privacy). Stan comes around every so often wanting to do some small task for cash and/or a beer. My brother and I never got to cleaning out the flower beds last fall. Now, there’s still dead leaves, and some litter that blew there, covering the spring growth of daffodil and tulip stalks and already-blooming crocus and grape hyacinths.

Stan has a sharp eye and has trained himself well to spot things like that. I’ve obliged him in the past as has my brother, but did not the last few times he came around. This time I went a step further, and told him we’re just getting by here and can’t afford to pay him to do things we can do ourselves.   He could tell by the resolve in my voice that I meant it and only tried again once. Normally, he’ll keep talking and try to squeeze some money out of you.

You might wonder why I would ever oblige him in the first place, or have any sympathy. Well, for one, he’s pretty good at what he does. If he put as much energy into trying to keep a job as he does in coaxing some cash out of the neighborhood denizens, he might do okay.

Also, shortly after my brother and I moved in, we had 8 tons of topsoil delivered to restore the back yard. Because of the narrow alley and a retaining wall restricting access for the dump truck, the soil had to be dumped in the abandoned part of the alley next to the yard and then distributed by shovel and wheelbarrow. I had to leave for my part time job after we were at it a while. Stan ended up helping my brother finish the job, and I got out of doing most of it.  My brother was so grateful, he gave him what cash he had and asked me for some more to give him when I got home.  That was fine. It was a huge job.

Unfortunately, it set the stage for repeated solicitations of odd jobs for cash or a cold one.

That was eight years ago. Stan’s methodology evolved over time. He became more engaging, sneakier, and he always had a story of why he was short on dough. That, of course, wore out, despite his efforts. Seems he always just started a job but didn’t get paid yet. His girlfriend kicked him out, at least twice. You get the picture.  He also would start out saying he’d do a chore for $10, but then by the time he finished, he was suggesting $15 or $20.

Tonight, he didn’t push the issue too much with the leaf gathering, but he still asked for a cold beer. He’ll tell you he’s an alcoholic and then ask for a drink. I guess that’s supposed to make you more sympathetic or something. Well, I said I didn’t have any. I had a few, but why should I give one to him. That still costs me money. Money that I work long hours to earn. Plus, if he really is an alcoholic, which he most likely is, then I’d just be enabling him.

Stan seems like a decent guy, and at least he’s willing to do something for the money. Not just plain asking for a handout. He’s engaging to talk to, so you let your guard down.  I’ve learned though, to say no, pretty much automatically, now. Neither my brother or I will give him anything anymore, but it took us a while to get to that point.

Yes, having a hard time saying no runs in the family, but it’s also because we care about others and know that life can be hard. But when that gets you taken advantage of, and enables unhealthy behavior in another, you’ve got to put your foot down.

Maybe Stan was sent here to teach me (and my brother) that lesson.

 

 

The overtime addiction syndrome

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I’m thankful that I have the opportunity to work overtime at my job right now, since I can really, really use the bigger paycheck. I mean, really.

If you ever worked even semi-regular overtime, then you know the paradox. The money’s good when you’re working it, but you have no time to do anything. Then, when it goes away, you have more time, but less money to do things. But you know what? It’s worth “doing stuff” when you don’t have the OT, as long as you live within your means overall.

Then there’s those who can’t seem to work enough. When I changed departments last year, I was coming from the department I’d been in for more than two years, that almost never does OT, to the one that does it most of the time. It was May when I started and the first holiday after I was through training and eligible for OT, was the 4th of July.

It was on Tuesday last year and I planned on taking Monday off too, so I’d have a four day weekend. I did just that, but was surprised to learn that we had the option of working on the holiday, (I didn’t know people did that) and getting paid the hours worked plus the 8 hours of holiday pay.  The supervisor went around asking what we were planning to work so she’d know who needed work assignments. Most people very quickly responded that they were working not just Monday, but Tuesday the 4th as well.

I remember thinking, “Take the day off, for God’s sake. Money grubbing workaholics.” It seemed a little overboard to me.

This week brings Good Friday, a paid holiday at my company. Guess who’s working? Yup. Yours truly. I’ve caught the overtime addiction syndrome. You see, if you work extra hours through the week, and then have a day off, then you lose the time and a half portion of the first eight hours of your overtime. If you’re not familiar, that’s because OT doesn’t start until after 40 hours worked. So holiday and vacation time doesn’t count toward the 40.

So, you end up kind of not wanting to ever take off as long as you’re working the overtime. Then, you become obsessed with maintaining a certain level of extra hours and income. (It’s all voluntary and right now, at least, there’s no limit on how much we can work.)

Personally, I max out at 15 hours of OT. Who the hell wants to work more than 55 hours a week? Not me!  In fact, I only ever did an extra ten until just the last few weeks.  But there are a few people there who do more like 65 or even more, no matter if there’s enough work to merit it, or not.

This leads me to another money malady. The poor old miser syndrome. Do you know anyone who you figure has to be pretty comfortable, but talks like they’re poor all the time? You probably have a relative like that. Annoying, isn’t it?

It seems like people who are solidly in the middle are the most generous and complain less about finances than those who are better off. Maybe that’s just my experience.

Some of those misers act like they’re on the ragged edge of disaster, financially. How do I know they aren’t? I don’t see them at the meetings. Just kidding. No, I don’t know where anyone else really is, money-wise, but some are more melodramatic than others.

Of course, in these times, financial security is much harder to attain than in the past, with whole industries collapsing, pensions being a thing of the past, downsizing, outsourcing, streamlining, and all that stuff. I don’t mean to undermine legitimate concerns and fears. I’m just talking about a certain type when I say miser.

Well, as I said, I”m thankful I can get overtime. I just hope I recognize when I’m caught up enough in my finances, and don’t keep clawing for more. Of course, at the rate I’m going, I won’t be caught up until I have a successful writing career. And, that’s fine. It’s a good motivator.

A final thought: remember to poke your head up and look around when you get the chance. Live life as fully as you can. If you don’t have to work the long hours, don’t overdo it. After all, what good is padding your retirement to be a little more comfortable then, if you have no life in the meantime? Just my opinion. It’s your life. Maybe you will be able to retire earlier if you burn the midnight oil now. If that’s the case, can’t blame you for that.

As for me, I’m very determined to do all I can to reach my potential while earning as much as I need to now, and work for my future too. I could definitely use some time management tips. Also, ideas to enjoy life fully, on the cheap.

The me first syndrome

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I was going into the pharmacy today to pick up a prescription refill when I saw a woman walking swiftly toward the entrance just a little farther off than I was. I entered first, but she walked right around me up the main aisle to the pharmacy at the back of the store. You should note that it’s a particularly busy chain store pharmacy and the line is sometimes 8-10 people deep, extending down the aisle.

I hate people who always have to be first, like the ones who cut you off because they had to pass a few more cars, or just you, before getting to the merge point ahead. Don’t they realize you won’t get home from work any significant amount of time earlier?  It really doesn’t make a difference. You get one green light, to get to the next one just as it turns red. It averages out.

So, when this woman was speed walking past me, I just let her go. And turned into a side aisle to try and cut her off, thinking the line would be at the end of the aisle. She got there first, and there was no line anyway. Still, bitch beat me. Oh, wait, I’m not supposed to care. Okay, I guess I caught, temporarily, the me first syndrome. But that’s the only time…

…aside from the time the guy in the Lexus SUV came racing up on the right just to get ahead of me before his lane ended. I did not get right on his bumper and lay on the horn. I did not do the same when he deliberately took his time when he turned off the road. I definitely did not flip him the bird. Rich prick. Oops. Did it again. Ok, so there were a bunch of times. But I’m learning.

Why is it that negative behavior spreads so much more easily than positive? I guess it’s our evolutionary competitive instinct, survival of the fittest and all that. But, we’re not animals. (Well, technically we are, mammals.) Even so, humans can reason and recondition themselves to achieve a more enlightened existence and a sense of community, of brotherhood/sisterhood. Sure, we’re still going to get annoyed while driving and want to keep up with the Jones’, but it needn’t control us or anger us when we don’t come out on top. You can’t win ’em all.

While we want to always win, it’s inevitable to lose sometimes, whether a minor loss on the commute, or something more significant, we can learn from losing to someone from time to time.  Humility, acceptance, recognizing our limits, etc.

But if you truly transcend the whole contest, you realize, there’s no need to even feel as if you lost something if someone bests you. (I’m talking about the minor stuff here.) And as far as the major stuff, be satisfied that you did the best you could, that you learned something, or whatever the case may be.

So, don’t take it personally when you get cut off driving, or someone cuts in line. Let them live that way if they want. You can be content with the way things are. If they want to wait in line for hours to be the first to get the latest video game system, let them. If they want to get further in debt to get a nicer, pricier new car, or a bigger grill, addition to the house…. who cares? Be happy with what you can achieve and share with family and friends. Share and empathize, instead of hoard and alienate. Help instead of kicking while they’re down, and don’t catch the Me First Syndrome, because we’re all in this together.